May 21 Earthquake happens in New Zealand! Rapture Begins! Camping was late but right!

A 8.9 magnitude earthquake rocked New Zealand on Saturday, causing widespread damage in one of the country's worst natural disasters.  The earthquake struck FoolsCamping, the country's thirty-second largest city, around teatime when offices were occupied and stores and streets were bustling with people.

Rescuers frantically scrambled to find hundreds people who were thought to be still trapped in the debris as darkness fell on the city Saturday night. Dazed, screaming and crying residents were seen wandering through the streets.

In another bizarre twist of fate, groups of evangelical christians who have been blabbering about the upcoming rapture were spontaneously bursting into flames as they scrambled into the streets out of falling buildings.  In fact, they are the only casualties thus far in the midst of this massive scene of destruction.

"It's just a scene of utter devastation," Prime Minister John Key said. "However we may well be witnessing New Zealand's brightest day as our christian population has finally been eradicated.  I think the cost of ridding ourselves of these mindless, blathering hypocrites was well worth it!"

The cost of rebuilding FoolsCamping has already been covered by Fools' biggest supporter, Mr. Camping, who has pledged to donate the nearly $100 million he has just pocketed from people listening to his "doomsday" prophecy.