Previewing key elements of his State of the Union address, President Barack Obama is announced a series of initiatives aimed at calming some of the fears Americans have about struggling. This initiative has been dubbed the "Blood War" and involves Obama and all of congress shedding their human costumes, and openly showing their blood-sucking nature as vampires for blood and money. "The middle-class fears will be resolved, as now they will have something else to worry about" a top aide was overheard as saying. "We spend 3.5 trillion a year but that is not enough-- we need the blood of all middle class Americans!"Obama said it was time that Americans knew the truth, that "we are all vampires and it is time to cull the herd." Quoting his personal hero, Jigsaw, Obama said "There will be blood.." Congress is now holding a special 3-day session in which they will re-design all cogressional offices to make room for their coffins and other paraphernalia.
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