BP and Tiger Woods working to formulate new approach to spill

MSNBC:  After ice foiled plans to use a giant box to contain oil gushing from the floor of the Gulf of Mexico, crews plan to park it on the sea floor and offload equipment for a new attempt to stem the flow:

Officials at BP were ecstatic when they received a call from the one man who is good at working with boxes and holes... Tiger Woods.  They will use his legendary driver to plug the biggest hole in the Gulf!  Shown in the caption is Woods' shaft being lowered into the Gulf while he is suspended from a crane above.  "Normally it's not that thin," a blushing Woods confessed, "but it's been stretched a mile so far and that would do it to anyone.  I can't wait to plug that hole!  Maybe this time I won't get such bad press for doing what comes natural to me."

In case Mr. Woods can't cut it, MR. C has a suggestion that would stop all this dicking around (pardon the pun):  it's called put all the CEO's and other oil-billionaires into a gynormous blob of cement and drop them straight down onto the pipe.  They are concerned about losing the oil source and their profit-- not the environment-- either that or use some well-placed explosives to SEAL the well.  The damage from this spill right now will take 150 years to disappear, and it's only getting worse!


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